Telephonic Trauma!! #4

A "Scintillating" finish.....

26th October 2008.
Sunday, 8.00 AM
I had just woken up, bleary eyed, and was lolling on the sofa in the living room, waiting for my customary mug of tea -(Yeah, mallus drink tea in gigantic mugs, and not in tiny dainty cups) -when my ancient motorola furiously vibrated my pocket. i picked it up, and found that the cops had finally found my phone after 6 days of arduous investigation. they didnt tell me, but i think the FBI and the interpol were summoned to locate this wily smuggler. they definitely must have used hi-tech espionage and bullet proof jackets to save themselves from his deadly arsenal of weaponry ranging from banarasi paan to marlboro lights....
Cutting a long story short, they handed over my baby to me. As i thanked them with a smile, they quizzically looked at me. Few minutes of "friendly conversation" later, my pocket was lighter by a 1000 bucks.

Happy Diwali!!!

Epilogue:
My phone is with me, but without my contacts, my pics, my memories, or my downloaded MP3s. insted, there is a motley mix of bhojpuri music, raunchy cleavage baring thumka laden videos, and themes of ravi kissen (I AM NOT KIDDING!). All said and done, im still contented. a sincere piece of advice to all readers, please download a mobile tracker. Its free. a few KBs of data never hurt anyone. its better than losing phone anyways. so take a leaf out of my e-book, and get it done at the earliest.

Cheers!!!

Telephonic Trauma!! #3

A Twist in the Tale!!

20th October, 2008.
6.00 PM
I come to terms with the fact that my first-born-son (yeah, i still mean my N72, Duh!) is...well, lost!! no longer with me...
I debate on whether to write an Obituary for it, or place a"Missing Persons" Advertisement, as both "deeply mourning", and "Ghar aa jao beta" summed up my state of mind quite effectively. Well, i just decide to be one of the rather unfortunate urchins without access to GPRS or a carl Zeiss camera. A book now means a standard tome with recycled bark pages, and not virtual pages on Adobe reader. lame??
You Bet!!

6.26 PM
I had just finished typing out an SMS to my million friends, when i got an SMS on the Ancient Motorola i was using.....
"SIM Changed.
IMEI...
Country code...
Area Code...
Operator: Vodafone
Time: 6.25 PM"

I peered at the message for a full second, when comprehension finally dawned on me...
my heart filled with glee, as the union of the two most beautiful words of the English language..."Mobile Tracker!!!" sluggishly trickled into my dim-witted head. my erstwhile apathy towards the law brigade suddenly saw a transformation of sorts, as i grabbed a soiled pair of jeans, and a shirt...
My mind raced ahead of me as i got dressed, and dragged a friend along to the POLICE station.

7.00 PM- Vashi railway police station.

A "darling" cop chided me for my carelessness in reporting the matter 3 days late. I bore the brunt of his harsh words, and just kept my acidic sarcasm in check. A brainwave made me impersonate a Vodafone Customer care executive and call up the miscreant who was using my phone. i gave him an offer which he couldnt refuse!! free calls to 3 local numbers, 300 sms free a month, and all local calls @ 10 paise, without rental or migration charges!!!
Sweet!!
Damn, it felt like my Girlfriend was being kept hostage or something!! after five minutes of exercising my "Contact Centre Executive" experience, i had the name, the address, and the "billing detials" of our friendly-neighbourhood-paanwala!!! Who could have imagined, that the "Angel" who provided people with classic milds can have such a dark side to his personna??
my sweetheart which was stolen atVashi was sold in Masjid bunder...yeah, across the city!!!
Armed with such little information, our Macho Mumbai police embarked on their "Grail Quest."

...and Akshay is shunted back home..!!!

Telephonic Trauma!! #2

The adventure continues.....

Day 2- October 18, 2008.

I woke up to the rather sweet sound of my mother screaming on top of her lungs, and frantically banging the door to my room. She generally gives me a wake up call on my now-non-existant cell phone, to save herself from climbing seven stairs...

Sweet!! 6.30 AM already, a 7.30 AM train to catch, not a word studied, unwashed, uncombed, i stagger down the stairs to have breakfast. feel like catching up on the previous nights' barrage of SMS...oops!!

No Phone, No sms!!

Just shove some food into my mouth and strut to college in style.

7.25 Am, Seawoods Railway Station...

i remember that i havent combed hy hair..(the ones on the head, not my face)

now, where do i find a mirror?? no problemo!! a fancy-schmancy "photygraff" would do the trick!!!

my 15 kg fat filled stomach does a back flip....as i realise....

No Phone, No Camera!!

just use my fingers as a rudimentary comb as best as i can....Frustrating??? hell yeah!!!

feel like listening to some heavy metal to soothe my nerves...

oh-oh, way to go!!! forgot my trusty iTouch (8GB) at home!! Big Deal...N72 to the rescue!!! (uh..not quite!!)

No Phone, no music!!

Agonized, that i have to hear the senseless political banter of unruly, unkempt crowds early in the morning, i decide to brush up my rural-marketing gyan. hmm, notes--incomplete!

textbook--conspicuous by its absence...

SWELL!!

not really!! "Akshay the Great" backs up every thing!!

the has got most definitions photographed with the smart 2.0 megapixel camera in the N...

oh well..

No Phone, No Studying!!

reach college in a state of panic. flirt with the librarian girl, illegally snatch a reference copy of the textbook from the shelf, run off to 35paise photocopying centre. stare gloomily as beams of light from the photocopier decide my destiny, and burn a hole in my wallet simultaneously....it doesnt get any better...

broken out of my snooze by the boy who struggles with a simple multiplication of 142 pages @ 35 paise each...

haha!! bozo...!!

ill do it faster than him, on my Calculator!!! 8-D

God bless technology!!!

i make a bored, faux- haughty expression, shove my hand into my back-pocket to pull out my favourite N72!!!

yeah, yeah!!!

gloat as much as u want, bitch!!!

No Phone, no calculation!!

As i mull over my level of dependance on the gleaming black cuboid that not-so-long-ago used to snuggle close to my ass, i just pause to wonder....

What AM I without my phone??

without an identity/ without a means to be contacted/ A nobody...

i get goosebumps when i think of my land-line hogging days, like 5 years ago...

it isnt nostalgia, Folks...

ITS PARANOIA!!!!

Telephonic Trauma!!

The Adventure Begins...

All of you technophiles definitely understand the agony of losing a phone! not a REALLY snazzy one, but atleast a Symbian S60 Black Nokia N72 is better than Nothing!!! here is an agonizing take on my personal trauma!!

Day 1- October 17th, 2008.
Ridhiman's Birthday...neat!!

For the uninitiated, Ridhiman Banerjee is one of my best buddies from college. his appearance in college is a once-in-a-blue-moon kinda phenomenon, for some reasons best left out ;-)
I like the oh-so-sweet guy that i have always been wanted to go meet him. So? whats the big deal you might ask/// it was...
i was right in the middle of an internal examination, with 40 effed up marks dangling like Democles' proverbial sword over my neck!! So i am supposed to sit down and study, right???
WRONG!!
i argue with Mom about the importance of Friends in one's life, dress up, comb my face (yeah i need to do that, due to an abundant growth of facial hair) bang the door, and i am off!!!
Sweet!!
Smells like teen Spirit!!! doesn't it???

So, cutting the long story short, i just about managed to get inside a harbour-line panvel to CST local train's second class compartment. being squeezed by 150 men of different shapes and sizes from all directions at the same time isnt exactly enviable unless you are a pervert, of course!! or should i use the more Socially-relevant, politically-correct Homo-sexual..(smirk!!) and the sweat and grime of the late-evening doesnt help too much either...
so finally i get down at Vashi only to find my corpulent butt a little lighter...yeah, by 120 gms of Nokia-branded-plastic-and-circuit...
some son-of-a-gun went ahead and swiped it clear off my back pocket, imagine his nerve!!!

me being a worthless-jobless student types, have plenty of time on hand to fill up my poor 512MB memory card with weird softwares, IIM ahmedabad, heavy metal, and marijuana themes... the works!!!
the usual riff-raff ud find in a wannabee-popular 19 year olds N72...
what hurt me the most wasnt the loss of over 500 phone numbers accumulated over 2 1/2 years, or some cute chicks' pics id coaxed out with my photographic skills, or my 3d snake top-score built up over a year of laborious toil...
BUT it was my pirated MP3 Rock music collection, a multitude of passwords, AND my FIFTH semester BOARD EXAM time table....(dont forget the cute chicks' birthdays laboriously collected and saved in my calendar--"ooh Akshay! u remembered!!! how cute!! Muah, Muah)!!!!!!

Bah, who the Fudge cares!!!


But it is said that when u lose some, you gain some!!
i gained a lot in the terms of my knowledge of malayalam expletives, around an hour of sermons on how to guard ur butt in a train from pervs who wanna feel up ur ass...

All said and done, Bhaskar is a happy man!!!
(heard that song?? not worth the trouble, but definitely worth a laugh!!!)

So long then!!!