To be a Small Fish in a Big Pond…

I’ve heard people of my age say.. “Why serve in Heaven When you can Rule in Hell”.. As smarter people of another age once said, “Grass always seems greener on the other side”
What is hearts desire for some has been my destiny.. All along..
I have been ruling in Hell since God alone knows when..
I’m tired of being the Big Fish in the small pond since time immemorial..
I’ve been to a sub-standard school, a sub-standard junior college, a sub-standard college.. And always found myself King of the Loser Brigade.. But the funny thing is, the ones who get these opportunities are never too eager to grab them in the first place.. Reluctant power brings greater responsibility.. and the very fact that no one would ever be satisfied with any of your accomplishments is more disappointing than infuriating..
Its pain in the rawest form that hides behind my serene visage.. Why does fate always make me centre of attraction? I have had enough of positions of responsibility.. Since primary I’ve been class monitor, prefect, head boy, cultural committee secretary, joint secretary, council president, founder of placement cell, founder of various cells/ groups/ committees in college..

But the point is what did I gain out of it?
Other than the brickbats I mean.. I’ve always given my 110% but still been accused of shirking work and chronic tomfoolery.. Without able aides a manager is nothing. And more so in these thankless jobs..
You get 102 people placed through nights of slogging, wrecking your own grades, and to hear these dullards whine about pay packages and shooting accusatory glances is just too much for me to handle. Profile is the new buzzword these bozos swear by. They want to be Marketing Managers right after BMS!! They cant spell Kotler but want to have 4LPA+ pay packages..
What’s more irritating is I am being accused of saving the best jobs for myself!! Is it my fault that the recruiter chose an academically inferior, but smarter and more experienced candidate?? That’s highly unlikely..
My success has been my bane.. The worst thing is all this success has been in insignificant things. I never stood first in class… I’ve never even stood tenth in class after primary..
I have nothing to prove.. my days and nights of hard work, chalkboard writing, chart paper cutting, mural painting, paperwork, internet searches, travel across the town, waiting in lines, being hustled out of corporate offices is all unnoticed. Here a piece of paper has more worth than a persons integrity..
I have had enough of all this. Id love to get into a top notch B-school and let others do all the work for a change.. Being a cribber should sure be fun!!
I long to be a small fish in the Big pond.. But the irony of life is such that the reluctant ones are often bestowed with power.. History offers us such glaring examples… Since Lord Ram bestowed the Throne of Ayodhya to Bharat, we have seen a simple NRI lawyer become the father of our nation, Freedom fighters become protagonists of Bollywood films, Ratan Tata getting the reins of Tata, Rajeev Gandhi become Prime Minister, Rahul Dravid become Captain, Sonia Gandhi become Power centre of an alien country, the list is endless… and I’m sure I would continue be one such insignificant pebble as compared to these Behemoths, but in the same mould nonetheless..
What began as an outlet of frenzied frustration, has become enlightenment… The end of this post was never pre-meditated.. My fingers are just typing what my mind is telling me..
I have come to realize..
Que Sera Sera..